I won't lie, I hated this event last year so I wasn't exactly excited about going this year, however everyone was up for it so I counted myself in. I got there a lot later than I had planned so I ended up missing the street comp in the afternoon. The course looked sick, with all the standard shit as well as a few unusual bits and pieces. Apparently old fatty (Chesson) made some more tricks and ended up in 3rd place and came away with some dollars. More than that I couldn't tell you! I amused myself for a while with the usual stickering people and talking shit combo.

The vert comp was a different matter, I watched every second. I was quite surprised to find that the bloke I had seen wandering round and thought he looked like Tony Mag actually turned out to be Tony Mag! I was also happy to learn that Buster Halterman (one of my favourite skaters ever) was in the area. There was a pretty heavy turn out for the vert comp, as well as the usual faces there was Sandro Diaz and Pierre Luc Gagnon who were obviously the two main rulers. Also skating were a couple of surprise entries - Daniel Haney and Frank Hirata!

Big Ron introduces himself to Tony Mag


If you think vert skating is dead/for fat old men you should probably skip the next couple of paragraphs.

Here's the run-down:

Sandro Diaz - Skated so powerfully, huge alley opp 540's, McTwist varials, huge b/s 360 varials to tweak. somehow managed to stay on some pretty hairy high speed sketches.

Renton Millar - huge b/s kick flip, tail crunching madonnas, kickflip nosegrind, pop shove it nose grind.

Jussi - had bad runs in the comp, cab heelflip (no grab0, 360 flip fakie (no grab)

Ali Cairns - usual precision runs, McTwists, f/s 540, b/s 360 nose grab.

Pirre Luc - Absolutely amazing, b/s 360 kickflip indy (straight up straight down spinning with the board!), smacked his head so hard on his last run. Pulled everthing plus tax and made it look easy as f**k.

Frank Hirata - Smooth stylish runs, nice tailslides.

Terrence Bougadour - slammed hard on a f/s gay twist. Did his own style of varial tricks and went high.

Pete King - Had one run that went on for about 2 days! Did a sweet f/s 5-0 to switch k in the best trick comp, but gayed out of nollie heelflip rock fakies. Roll up, roll up see the lip trick machine perform!

Tony Mag - Looked a bit uncomfortable on his board, didn't stop him pulling a totally upside down twist in his run as well as going pretty high. Had a cool "FREE CHRISTIAN HOSOI" sticker.

Sergei Ventura - Went very high as usual, won the high air comp as usual.

Daniel Haney - Scared me, defied the usual rule of street skaters being stylish on vert. Looked on the edge the whole time, amused the hell out of the judges. The worst 360 rock 'n'rolls I have ever seen!

Buster Halterman - Ultimate style - the best b/s lipslides, one footed f/s inverts, text book b/s nose grinds.

It was no surprise when Pierre Luc won, Sandro second and Renton third. Pete rolled in at 5th which I think surprised him, but it was well deserved, he also picked up dosh in the best trick. I'll put the rest of the results on here when I remember them or someone tells me!

That was about it, I'm still not a fan of stadium comps but it was definitely better this year and I really enjoyed myself. Put it in the diary for next year when hopefully it will be even bigger.


Oh yeah, and there were loads of girls there!




Chesson thought today was a good day to make a trick


Prawny dropping in, with some male model in the background


There was a lot of people out and it was obvious that we were going to get into some kind of mischief, I wasn't really prepared for the night that lay ahead though!

Things started to get messy!


We adjourned to the nearest pub, which I think was called The George, but may as well have been called The Queen Vic! Here the locals took a very instant dislike to our large and loud (getting louder by the pint) crew but the land lady couldn't wipe the smile off her Pat Butcher like face as we hammered our way through drinks. There was a lot of people there, I didn't know all of them, however it become apparent that there was a girl present (who I shall lovingly refer to as "SWAMP THING" from now on) who knew no-one and was just keen for a bit of skater action. She soon became an object of amusement as Parrothead tried to take shots up her skirt and I let her smell my after shave (this is a great trick that I heard was a creation of Munson, basically you put your hands down your pants and rub your ass and balls etc making sure all your friends realise what you are doing, but your intended victim doesn't see you, you then pull out your hand and invite them to "smell my aftershave', on this occassion it worked like a dream!). Shortly after this Chesson made his move and was spotted doing nasty things with her, this has since given me a nasty case of post traumatic stress disorder and I am undergoing serious counselling as we speak, f**k nows what it's done to Chesson.

Keepin' it real wit' ma bitches!

Like all good things this had to come to an end, I was hoping for a good old cockney knees up round the old Joanna, but it never materialised. As we assembled outside the pub, the northern contigent took to pissing over each other and then over Swamp Thing (who was lip locked with Chesson at the time!). Things took a bit of a nasty turn when they ollied/smashed up a chair and it looked like we were about to recieve a beating from the entire Mitchell family.

Ben acted a bit Hawky

As we waited at the DLR we passed the time time by hurling abuse at Chesson and Swamp Thing (including his much publicised catch phrase "'ave that, I told you I wouldn't muck about") and then spitting on them. The crew seperated out a bit with Yoshi and the Downlow crew heading off for a Ruby, however I ended up in the party headed for the Venue in New Cross.

After nearly getting beaten up by the doorman, involving a slight misunderstanding with "the unknown force", we entered the seedy dive known as The Venue. I set about getting hammered, as did everyone else and we were soon on the dance floor singing along to the Queen tribute band. Dave "Shitloader" Cracknell and "The Unknown Force" seemed to make an early disappearance, "The Unknown Force" was last spotted sniffing round some Polish girls. The dancing soon started to get hectic, I remember back to back air guitar solo's with G to "Sweet Child Of Mine", singing to my favourite song ever "Club Tropicana", carrying Matthius and Emilio round for no apparent reason, Guys kneeslide to "The Ace of Spades", Emma getting kicked off the stage and a lot of other stupidity. Around this time I sold my £3 hat for £20 to some bloke who wanted to be cool like me and we started a Sidcup Massive stickering campaign. Somewhere in all this my sister turned up with her mates, one of whom kneed me in the bollocks during some particularly brutal dancing, this hurt, especially as Emma had already punched me in the knackers earlier. I stickered some girls and the game developed that every time I showed them the gold S around my neck they had to shake there booty. G stickered a large black man who danced like a freak, he peeled the sticker off and stuck it on his head, much to our amusement. G also tried to sticker some bloke who told him to "F**k off", so as he walked away one of the girls stuck one on his back anyway. As I walked through the crowd some random girl grabbed my dick, I think she must have been aware of my "internationally known" status, however far from being my usual smart arse self, I just stood there speechless wondering whether I had just imagined the incident, what a classy girl! I felt used and violated, but I soon got over it.


I think that was about it, I was saved my usual wandering around lost and drunk routine because my sister gave me a lift home (Thanks Cow). I'm still recovering (It's Tuesday now) from a back injury that I somehow acquired that night.

Oh once again Prawny is supposed to write about Sunday at UBI, but don't hold your breath.

Thanks to Downlow Matt for the pics.


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