After a particularly shit week at work I was well ready for a weekend of drunken mischief in my favourite sea-side town. My plan was simple, jet down there straight from work and get in a quick skate before heading to Kev's birthday party. Things didnt really work out like that because as soon as I arrived at the park, the crew turned up and were keen to hit the party. So much for skating.

The party was a fancy dress do where you had to dress to represent a band. For example, covered in rubbish you would be Garbage, do you get it now retardo? Me, Tim, Andy and Dave went as the Presidents of the United States of America. Dan sported a fur coat, a key round his neck, a shark hat, and a seagull on his shoulder he was of course Fur-Gul Shark-Key (Feargul Sharkey you retardo).


Kev was hideous as Ugly Kid Joe!


Gib looked a fool as Daft Punk. John and his 150 brothers - The Blues Brothers. Loz superb skiddy under pants over trousers with a cape - Super Tramp. Special mention to the girl who came as a bag of cocaine - Billy, and the group of people who turned up in a wendy house - Crowded House.

My memories of the evening are somewhat minimal: There was a band playing who were brilliant, especially the Madness cover versions. I remember dancing around like a freak, with my mask getting knocked sideways so that I couldn't see a thing and only managing to stay standing upright by leaning on other people.

Then it was over and I slept in my van in the car-park. I stumbled out in the morning to take a piss, expecting the place to be empty I was wearing just pants. I think the group of parents waiting to pick their kids up from football training thought I was going to try and sell them a copy of Big Issue.

I must have sweated most the alcohol out of my system dancing around in the f**king mask, because my hangover was minimal. I went for a fry-up and then down to the skate park to apraise the nights events and maybe have a little skate.


For once, I actually ended up skating for longer that half an hour, so by the time Matt, Chesson and Kelly arrived I was just about done. Chesson wasn't bothered about skating as his leg is knackered, but there was no stopping the Mattimal. I tried my hardest to lure him away to the pub but the little man was on a mission!


I donned a tasteful little party outfit for the evening and Matt chose to sport an offensive wig, which was later handed on to Tim.


To cut a long story short, we all got well wasted in various pubs around town. I told a lot of girls that my name was "HORSE" for obvious reasons and that I was a stud. Matt shouted "BOOBS" at a girl who did have particularly large breasts. My memory fades a little, that's about all I can remember of the evening. I tried my hardest to persude everyone to come clubbing, but no-one was up for it. When we left the pub the traditional hedge jumpig event began. Matt went straight into the lead with his spectacular dive into a holly bush and emerged screaming like a little bitch. I felt that I could go a little better, I took a run up onto a bench and lept off the back of it into a huge hedge. The landing wasn't exactly soft but I made it out ok. John egged me on to do it again because he didnt see the first effort, I was only too happy to oblige. This time I really went for it at full sprinting speed, I cleared the whole hedge (about 2m high) and landed on my face the other side without even getting my hands down to protect myself. I remember my legs whiplashing over my head, thinking I'd broken my back and seeing nothing but bright white. The picture below gives you some idea of my injuries, as well as the obvious injuries, I knocked myself out, put my tooth through my lip, tore all the muscles in my neck and fucked my back up. I hope you appreciate the effort that went into this stunt, because I did it for you all! I tried to convince various people that this was an act of courage and not stupidity, but no-one was buying it!

After this I have to admit that I was a little bit more subdued and I sloped of to sleep in my van the first chance I got. I was rocked awake by Andy trying to tip my van over. The first thing I was aware of was severe pain, as I opened the door Andy nearly pissed himself at my swollen deformed elephant man like face.


I got up and we headed round to the cafe to meet the others just in time to see Dirty Vicky emerging from Daves flat. This provided us with plenty of entertainment/topic for discussion while we wolfed down our greasy feast. Everyone headed off to the park except me and Matt who went and slept in the van some more.

By now you are probably asking yourself "What da fuck has dis shit got to do with saving the park?", well here it is:-

Revolution had organised a free skate/ride day in order to get as many people as possible in the park and show the council (and everyone else) how popular the park is. We turned up about midday and the place was absolutely mobbed, you could hardly get in there.


I think that proved the point. There was a mellow little demo in which anyone who wanted to skate or ride got to. It's a shame that none of the companies who were contacted about the event actually sent any skaters, even though a lot of them promised to. If you want to read more about the day and check out some photos visit the Revolution website CLICK HERE, there's also a link on there to e-mail the local council about the park closure, but please use it sensibly. After the demo thing we were sitting in the van an kids were coming up with all kinds of crap for Chesson to sign, including a travel card! This kept Me and Matt amused for ages, we even signed quite a bit of stuff ander various pseudonyms such as "Dogs Cock". We were all pretty fucked so we headed home at aobut 4 after a good feed.


Thanks to the usual suspects and to everyone who turned up on sunday on behalf of all at Revolution, I hope the day got the message across to the suits!


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