What a dog wanker


The crew elected for this mission were me, Parrotthead, Steve the Bear, and Pete. A highlight of the journey down was hacking round a roundabout causing Kev to fly out the bed in the back of the van and get pinned to the side of the van upside down, so we did an extra lap just for laughs. I had expected to spend the weekend in the van, but when we got there we were ushered into some plush little holiday villa things on a holiday camp, result. We'd got there pretty late so the bar was shutting and there wasn't much else going on so sleep was had. Morning came and I was greeted by the smell of Homeslice frying up a mean breakfast, always a good way to start the day. As usual it looked as if everyone was going to be late for the demos, but somehow it all came together at the last moment. Respect to Andy Scott who managed to go to the first demo without his skateboard, so as we drove down the road he was driving back, waving frantically at us to get the chalet key! The skating went off the cracker, the weather was great and there was loads of people watching. Caught up in the excitement of it all the Bear tried a fakie-540-fakie and ended up running down the ramp backwards and collapsing in a heap. To tell the truth it didn't look too serious but on removal of his sock it was obvious that the Bear had seriously fucked himself. He was soon off to hospital in an ambulance, not before posing for a photo. As you can see from the photo they make 'em tough in Oz, it latter emerged that Steve had basically broken the whole bottom off his leg and would need some serious bolting back together. This put a downer on the rest of the day, it's never nice to see a troop lost in action, it was worse because every update we got from the hospital painted a greyer picture. Like all good friends should do we decided to go out and get well and truly wasted, it's what Steve would want! First the guys from Red Bull took us out for a slap up meal in the Red Barn which was very nice, even though I think I upset the waitress.



Once back at the holiday camp booze was consumed in ridiculous quantities until we felt ready to head out into the big wide world. Our first port of call was the holiday camp bar which was hosting one of the shittest stand up comedians ever. As we walked in he heckled "pull your trousers up lads", my rather witty counter heckle involved sticking up my middle finger and calling "shut up you fat cunt", good family fun. Not surprisingly he didn't say anything else to us. The whole evening was underpinned by an ongoing lesbian situation among 2 female members of our party, depending on whether you were there boyfriend/husband or not this was a very amusing sideshow, truly bizarre. Shit comedian bloke was doing everyones heads in so we got cabs to the local sleaze pit known as Mariscos, around this time things get hazy for me, so any of this could be in any order. Poledancing was popular with Mr and Mrs Allen, Ed Leigh and a few other jokers, Mike Edwards amazed everyone with his dancefloor prowess, Ali stumbled and put a cigarette out on Kevs nose and was later spotted drunkenly trying to hitch a ride home, Pete and Skipp got persuaded to walk back to the camp while me and Kev got a cab and laughed more and more as each mile passed. Once back Kev decided he wanted to go swimming, not a good idea considering he couldn't stand or talk, like a good mate I just left him to it and went to bed.


3 very drunk bald blokes

Ed fine tuning his poledancing routine

Dave giving drunken snooker lessons to me and Skipp

Looks like Christian has just noticed Eds B.O.

I can't remember what I said to this bitch but she really fucking whacked me


Sunday was more of the same, good weather, good skating, but it was punctuated with Steve phoning trying to get us to come and break him out of hospital, then the hospital phoning and telling us that he wasn't allowed out. Man of the day went to Andy Scott who skated amazingly and did kickflip everything, slam of the day went to Dave who did an indy 540 to hip bounce of the coping to cartwheel smack on the flat bottom, it was a truly ugly slam. By the time he'd stood up his hip was already purple. As usual at these things it sort of pittered out and everyone headed of home, we'd decided to stay so we could drive Steve home from the hospital in the morning. This meant another evening in the Red Barn with some local skaters who offered to take us to skate some spots in the morning, always nice. Red Bull had booked all the chalets for an extra night, so Pete had one and me and Kev shared the other. The night before, in a pissed state, we'd been discussing building stuff out of all the furniture, like a big fort in the front room, we'd been too fucked to actually do it though. Tonight Kev decided he wanted to build a super bed, he took all the bed linen and pillows (about 7 sets) and made what you see in the picture above, I don't know why he did this but it was damn funny.


Parrots burnt beak

Satan Sausagecock

Who the fuck?



Invert on a (dick)head

Kev's superbed


The view


Bideford Bowl - nuff fun

The Bear ambulance




Bideford skatepark


In the morning we picked the Bear up and went to skate a little skatepark next to a river and a little concrete bowl which was pretty funny. Thanks to the skaters that waited for us, despite our lateness, and showed us the sites. Later we were in the town miles away from the bowl, when one of the locals came up to Kev and gave him back his board he had left there, mad coincidence.

Drive Home.

Sleep for a long long time.


Get well soon Bear

Thanks to Lucy for the nightclub pics.