The day started stupidly early for me, 8am, which is pretty f**ked up for a weekend, what was worse was that when I eventually managed to look out of the window it was pissing down. I struggled to motivate myself out of bed, and eventually overcame the odds. The reason for my ridiculously early rise was that I had to be at Third Planet by 9 to pick up the stuff for the comp (80% of which was booze!). I picked Prawny up and hit the road, after a brief MD's stop we arrived to meet a bleary eyed Weller sporting his now traditional heavy metal vest. We set about loading the van, and Naylor hit the grog (about 10am!).


Predictably the weather was shit and Meanwhile was wet, kids were skating and killing themselves. I'm not the most optimistic person alive but everyone assured me that the weather would get better, so we all got stuck into setting up. After wrestling the "easy-up" marquee into place, everything was set up and the sun came out and it stayed out for the rest of the day. I heard an unconfirmed rumour that this was due to Weller being some kind of sun god.

VIP area = free booze = danger

I didn't stick those Sidcup Massive stickers on there honest officer


The tunes got pumping and people started turning up. A little kid turned up looking like Michael Jackson in a spangly shirt, he amused us for a while as he spouted on about being a DJ. Homeslice played the bomb funk tracks and everyone smiled, the place was packed and there was as good skating as ever. The usual faces were in attendance Robinson Bros, Emilio, Munson, Big Ron, Downlow Crew, as well as a lot of day trippers. Also Leigh on Sea legend Sean Ward turned up and did some particularly Sean like tricks. One notable absence was Fraser aka "The Lifeguard", but he managed a token appearance later in the day.


DJ Homeslice on the ones and twos


At some stage the comp got started with the young'uns section, I was judging so I watched the skating more than I usually manage. I don't think it was a surprise to anyone when Ross and Ronaldo walked away with joint first and lots of new skateboarding toys. Highlights from the big boys comp were as follows:-

Jon Robinson - Huge transfers as usual, lots of backside reverts as usual.

Emilio - Evil looking blindside varial to fakie over the hip, obscene 540 things, kickflip to nose in the deep.

Prawny - Drunken mess

Weller - vest and wrist bandana

Munson - Snowboard style alley oop f/s indy o'er da hip, varial over that hip

Guy who's name I can't remember from Derby - Wicked old school Sims top, styling f/s fast plant over the hip

Dave Robinson - Absolutely on fire, first trick in his run - huge slob from middle to deep, so high that when he came down he had snow on him!

Mattius - Plenty of transfers, looked as ill and as unhappy as ever!

Sean Ward - Kind of Christ air thing over the hip, boneless variations, including b/s 360!

Jagger - Casual b/s disaster revert in the deep

I think Jeff at Third Planet fancies Emilio because he's the only skate photos I got.


Emilio and John didn't skate as well as they have done, but even then I don't think they could have touched Dave. This was definitley his day, one of his runs was flawless, Dave was the guvnor! Emilio came in second and John third. John couldnt have been happier if he had won himself, he was stoked. I don't think anyone could have argued with his victory, except maybe all the little girls who seemed to cheer loudest for Emilio. The prizes were good stuff, Dave walked away with cash, product and a sick Olympus digital camera. See above for full list of sponsors/prize donators.

There was a best trick comp next, but I missed it cos I went to fill my fat belly. Emilio won, but I don't know what he did. Probably something like the varial below...


When the comp finished is when the real entertainment began, the free drink really began to take its toll on people. The guilty parties probably cant remember most of this, but I was driving so stayed sober and can therefore remember the whole sordid evening. First up was the event known as 'roll into the bowl onto a kids toys horse' the 2 entrants were G and Prawny, both died. Next up 'hurt Naylor', in this event Naylor lay on the skateboard and I stood on him and rode him around, then G lay on him and 'paddled' through all three bowls in rather a gay fashion.


Sir Naylors trusty steed


Next event: canal jumping G and Prawny strip to pants a throw themselves into the canal, then head off up the high street and jump off the bridge into it. Somewhere in all of this Guy breaks a few fingers and a very drunk teenage girl collapses. In a more traditional event, known as 'G gets a bit over excited and fucks something up', Guy performs a flying kick on prawny who is DJ'ing at the time as well as drinking a bottle of Sprite. Predictibly the Sprite ends up all over the decks, and G is left drunkenly apologising to anyone in sight. Somewhere around this time Dave C turned into his usual sweaty drunken growling state...


G in a mess

Prawny in a mess

Chesson in a mess


Mummy, the bowls are full of drunk skateboarders

Everyone started to drift off home or to the pub, except the unlucky few who had to clear up the debris. We loaded the van and G decided to ride out the park on the roof, this resulting in him being pelted with bottles of Sprite and then getting driven through a tree. By the time we got to the pub everyone was in a state.

The death toll for the pub reads as follows: Big Ben fell down the stairs and broke his wrist, 'Tim's bird' collapsed and vommited, and some kid on a bike got run over outside. All in all quite a quiet night. Dave R did all his prize money in booze, and managed to lose all his prizes except the camera. Mattius wandered into the girls toilets. Chesson used the best chat up line I've ever heard: "Come on girl, me and you could be good together!", surprisingly this worked. Eventually it was time to go home, G and Chesson passed out in the back of my van, and Chesson got pretty abusive when I tried to throw him out at his house! After a mammoth drop-off route I made it home only to find out I'd forgotten my keys and had to sleep in my van!

This footnote from Matt explains his day:-


My mistakes were :

a - working for the company that bought 16 crates of beer and 10 bottles of vodka to the party

b - standing by the dustbin full of beer all day

c - turning into a vodka pig at vodka pig feeding time

d - trying to ride the plastic horse into all the bowls

e - becoming a human skateboard

f - and finally jumping in the disease ridden canal


apologies to myself

Mr M. Naylor



I'm sure everyone who went had a great day and would like to thans to everyone at Third Planet, particularly Alice who seemed to be on the verge of a breakdown most of the day. Also, I don't know whether this is true, but someone told me that this event rated more highly than the Essential Festival in Time Out magazine. Mummy, look at me I'm a right socialite! LATERZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzz




click here to see last years skating (a Third Planet production)

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