This is a tale of a recent weekend road trip to Newquay, the cast were myself, Paul "3 chins" T and Mattimal. The weekend had been going as usual, a healthy combination of drinking, smoking and skateboarding. Friday was spent at Mt. Hawke skatepark (which is always a pleasure) and the night spent in the pub rocking out to the band. Saturday was spent recovering from serious headbanging injuries, smoking and generally loitering around Newquay with an intent to get pissed. We headed once again to the Red Lion to begin the evenings proceedings. We then headed down to a shitty new club called "WALKABOUT" with some newly acquired friends, one of which Matt insisted on showing his penis. She didn't seem that impressed with the merchandise and was heard to shout "oh my God I've just seen a prawn". After an evening of getting down with our bad selves to such classic tunes as "Ice ice ice baby" and "Hammertime" we headed outside. Mattimal let off a few bangers, including a pretty good attempt at blowing my foot off. After a while we went our seperate ways, Chins and Mattimal back to the hotel while I stayed at large in Newquay.

And here is where the real story begins...

We were all staying in one room, Paul T in the double bed (to accommodate all of his chins), Mattimal in the single bed and me in the cupboard. Anyway, they were in bed, falling asleep after smoking a couple of Camberwell Carrotts (so-called because it was first rolled in Camberwell and it looks like a carrott). Next the door opens and someone walks in, thinking it was me returning from my adventures they don't pay much attention, until they realise that it is not me but a naked man. The situation goes from bad to worse when the naked man gets into bed next to Paul, who by this time is well on the way up. After shouting abuse at "The Gay Invader" for a while to get him to shift, Matt gave him a slap of almighty proportions and they chucked him back out into the hallway. And that is the now legendary tale of "The Gay Invader". I still suspect to this day that one of those two undercover homosexuals was responsible for this mans appearance, they deny it, but then again they would!


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