1] If you pretend to be blind, your dog can stay in your motel room free of charge.

2] The later you are, the more excited dogs are to see you.

3] If a dog has babies, you can put an ad in the paper and give them away.

4] Dogs will forgive you for playing with other dogs.

5] People think fat dogs are cute.

6] A dog will let you put a studded leather collar on it without calling you a pervert.

7] Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name.

8] A dog won't hold out on you to get a new car.

9] If a dog is gorgeous, other dogs don't hate it.

10] If a dog smells another dog on you, they don't get mad ... they just find it interesting.

11] Dogs like it when you leave lots of things on the floor.

12] On a car trip, your dog never insists on running the heater.

13] A dog's disposition stays the same all month.

14] It's legal to keep a dog chained up at your house.

15] A dog's parents never visit.

16] No dog ever put on a hundred pounds after reaching adulthood.

17] Dogs don't let magazine articles guide their lives.

18] Dogs agree; to get your point across, you have to raise your voice.

19] Dogs like to ride in the back of pickup trucks.

20] Dogs like to do their snooping outside, rather than in your wallet or desk.

21] Dogs are not allowed in Bloomingdale's or Neiman Marcus.

22] Dogs seldom outlive you.

23] If a dog leaves you, it won't try to take half your stuff.

24] Dogs can't talk.

25] Dogs enjoy heavy petting in public.

26] You never have to wait for a dog; they're ready to go 24 hours a day

27] Dogs like to go hunting.

28] Another man will seldom steal your dog.

29] If you bring another dog home, your dog will happily play with both of you at the same time.

30] A dog will not wake you up at night and ask you, "If l died, would you get another dog?"

31] Dogs don't mind if you watch them piss or shit.


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