Summary of the evening e-mailed to me by Elmhawk (most of which you will not be able to understand):

- I missed all the films

- Yoshi got new robots (pea-horse wasn't allowed to see them, but G nicked the mr time at the tube station so she might have seen that)

- G got new mesh (ebay ebay we love you)

- Sidcup got f*** all apart from some very hard arse pinching from Alice, which resulted in her getting pinned to a wall by his belly.

- "very c***y" (sick) bird was there and g fell in love with her - but couldn't follow through (as usual)

- in a bizarre 3 way robot / old school bmx / snowboard accomodation deal yoshawk owes me a tenner and fathawksidcup owes yoshi 40 less than before

- downstairs at the bar Ramraid told some birds he loved doggy style, they then said what - he liked it up the arse?

- G got over-excited as usual - at one stage I told him to "SHUT UP" Sidcup style!

- G pretended to phone up Dirty Vicky

- Elmhawk, Fatsidhawk & G-hawk all had caps on and kept stabbing each others peaks in the peak piece whilst talking until the caps nearly fell off

- Perry's christmas card amazed and astounded all onlookers and set the new benchmark for cards & street photography (knickerless drunk chick on a tricycle)

- all the "ilovedoggystyle" stickers got stuck on people (yawn)

- G's stabbing finger and ramraid's chopper arm briefly made an appearance

- new years eve suits were briefly discussed (yeah I've got mine & its bad)

- Disco Dan nearly agreed to do some dancing for the threatened upcoming sidcup film

- there was a mobile phone party when everyone stuck their phone into everyone elses face and lit up the place

- Elmhawk and Fathawk agreed they had had to impose "no spending on old school bmx" rules into their lives

- nothing exceptional really happened at all

- at the end I fitted many many Sidcup & Third planet crew (a whole army) into the Passat (including G and Ram in the boot) and crawled to Westbourne

- the army then filtered into the underground system and dispersed to spread terror throughout the suburbs.

 

Further comments by Fat Sidcup:

Elmo pretty much covered it there, although he wasn't there on the tube to see us interviewing/scaring some poor girl on the tube, but I'm sure he'll see the video footage!

 

The point of this story?

Third Planet have put together a 10 minute promo video of the Vans UK Tour which they are hoping to get commissioned by a TV company. It's like a video diary of a week involving a lot of drinking, laughing, and skateboarding. It was a good tour and it would make a highly entertaing bit of TV, better than the usual shit that's on. If you know anyone who maybe interested in it get them to get in contact with Third Planet t: . If your wondering why I am making this request, it's cos i want to see my fat ass on TV. SO COME ON, GET ON THE CASE.........

Highlights of the tour include: Hotel evacuations, van roof riding, heavy metal club in Edinburgh, more amazing skateboarding stunts than you can shake a stick at, continual drunkeness, bad dancing, Cates and Glass stand up routine, hoover attacks, fireworks, Chas 'n' Dave and more

Features a cast of millions: Sweaty Chesson, Geezer King, Emilio, Homeslice, Dirty Chris Oliver, Fat Sidcup, Mark Channer, Weller, Wingy, T-moth, Glass, Yuppy Wig, Kingy, Mark Churchill, Olly Todd, Chris Pullman etc etc.

"WAKE UP YOU MONKEYS"

 

 

BACK TO THE STORIES