I am ecstatic to announce that I have at last received a reply to my lonely hearts ad, although I have my doubts about it's authenticity:-

In reply to yourad I am after a short term relationship. I am 15 stone and have spiky ginger hair. I belong to the cult of Jerry Springer and work at Starburger in Staines Massive (commute regularly from Dartford in Trev's XR2i). I have 2 kids one with only one arm and one with no legs, I'd better not have any more. I smoke 500 a day (Regals). I drink a pint of vodka for breakfast and I don't go out to pubs is that ok? I only like Zens nightclub on a Tuesday for the under 18's nights, you never know we could have already met. You can find me most nights apart from Tuesdays (well you can after 12pm ) standing opposite Dartford Park (on the corner) watching lots of cars go round and round. I wear most nights my yellow thigh high boots and a boob tube and my puffer jacket on cold evenings. I have bleach blond hair with 1 inch roots on the third week of every month, as thats when they normally grow out ( don't get paid until the 4th week-bastard init). My mates say I'm a top bitch and Trev says I'm a good suck. I swallow as it keeps my nails in good condition, I'm not the sort of person who likes false nails or any thing false I am a natural woman! In response to 12 in the blow job section of your website, you haven't had head till you've had mine. I love mullets. Please reply I need a shag.

Love and kisses

Doreen Freeman


I hope to meet up with Doreen for a blow in the back of my GTi up at the look-out point in Dartford sometime this week!



I thought I'd never get another reply to my ad but here is one, I think that maybe Swedes don't understand the concept of sarcasm.

I saw your advert in the 'Internet' and am OK for your details. I am half Swedish and have worked in the UK Art College for over a year. You details are the same as mine- even live in that area! - shall we see if we can arrange a real telephone conversation for hope of arrangement!! I am very careful and use the Freewheeler system for the special computer safety and security they give to all of us. You can see my picture since going to www.freewheelerclub.com/see-me-now/jp3/ my 'see me' membership pin number is xxxxxx. Or you can telephone me to my mobile xxxxxxx

Then we are from there!!




Looks like the Sidcup boy struck gold this time! I'll let you know how things go!