Due to the fact I've been a busy boy this summer and that I really can't be arsed to write a story about this, I have condensed this article into a brief summary of my days in Newquay and the lessons I have learnt from it:-
Joyce and Horsely ran Pritchard over and then smashed the car up until the police arrived.
The girls that work for Right Guard are very good looking.
Pritchard got his face blasted with lit deodorant that singed his beard and eyebrows off.
Joycey pissed in his own eye.
Sailors is an entertaining club, particularly when you are sporting a gold S medallion.
At a party people tried to feed themselves to a piranha.
Joycey's sister is not as disturbed as him.
Horsely said lots of funny things.
I don't like Pringles, yes even if they are free.
Sergei did some very high airs.
Dan Joyce made a new "special" friend (that gay bloke from Shipwrecked)
I got so pissed I fell asleep standing at the urinal with my cock out (twice!).
Petes girlfriend Megan (aka Fothers) ended up in hospital after damaging her back brushing her teeth.
Fistral Beach is definitely one of the coolest places in England.
Docker brushed off his pads at the ripe old age of 38 and treated us to some old school.
Renton Millar did a f/s pivot on a fence held on top of the vert ramp, which was undoubtedly on of the sickest things I have ever witnessed. (Click on the photo above to see it in all its glory)
I smoked so much one night that I got "the fear" and was scared to sleep in my van.
Terrence Bougadour did ridiculous back to back varial variations.
Sergei didn't surprise anyone by winning the high air comp.
I told a lot of people I was internationally known, I think a few even believed me.
Pete King shot a sequence of a very nice f/s nollie heelflip tailslide.
Old people in the hotel liked bad organ music and danced funny.
We saw a man in a really really gay pink vest, and I implied he was Pete's special "friend".
I saw a bit of the worst TV show ever - Temptation Island.
Jocke Olson missed the comp due to being very ill.
Free Tequila in Walkabout was good.
The skaters must have signed a million things each.
Renton Millar is a very scary dancer.
Surfing gets you in with all the flyest honeys.
I'm not very good at table tennis.
Apparently Swindon is really ghetto.
Some people are seriously prepared to kill themselves in the name of skateboarding, here MC Noodles displays his handrail war wounds.
People don't seem to want to fight so much when they are on holiday.
Ali won the overall competition as well as best trick (one foot cab 5-0).
Renton was apparently "smashed" and "Russian like a cossack" for quite a lot of the time.
The pizza place in Newquay is very good value for money.
Parking your van on a hill and then trying to sleep in it is not a good idea.
Your stomach can only last so many days on a diet of fast food, coffee and whiskey.
The moral of this story is: "SUMMER IS GOOD"
I hope that made it sound like good fun because it was.