Sort of an introduction:

As I sit down to write this (a long time after the event) i wonder if i can possibly make this tour sound as funny as it was, i very much doubt it. As you can see from this site i love going on roadtrips and tours, to me it's the best thing about skateboarding, I love it, everyday is different but never dull. This is the second Vans tour I've been on, they're so weird because everyone is so totally different but everyone gets on with it and by the end of the week you've got the fact that you've all been on the tour in common, even if nothing else. Here is my attempt at putting it into words........


Sort of cast list:

Me (a useless cunt from Sidcup) , Homeslice (now shortened to Slice or 'The Slizza', Vans Team Manager, soon to be reduced to nervous wreck), Ed Leigh (aka Satan Whoppercock UK Air Guitar Champion), Mark Churchill (got in touch with his dark side and was reborn as Dark Church Hell), Frank Stephens (aka 'The Victorian Boy'), Dave Carnie (dress wearing editor of Big Brother Magazine), Wig (morose Sidewalk photographer, called 'Grandad' and 'BA' (as in Bad Attitude') by Cates), Dan Cates (the scourge of British skateboarding, doesn't take it seriously enough, always on stage, drives people mad), Hugo Liard (visiting Frenchman, doesn't speak much English, has bad taste in music, didn't see him wear a stripey top or beret once), Dave Chesson (making a comeback after surgery, held it together quite well all week, sweats a lot), Blayney Hamilton (Irelands finest, by the end of the week I could nearly understand what he was saying, except when he was pissed or stoned, so only a few minutes a day), Olly Todd (this man owns a handbag with a purse in it, he's a cross dresser in denial), Danny Wainwright (yes that big ollie bloke), Emillio Arnanz (The smiliest person alive, except when he hurt his arse), Howard Cooke (recently took up drinking and discovered a whole new world of violence), Andy Evans (responsible for filming the video, including all the stuff Christian missed while he was gooning around being American), Kingy (Document snapper, more cheerful than Wig!), Niall Neeson (Sidewalk wordsmith, man of a million stories), and I think that's about it.

Honourary first day participants: G Money and Andy Colgate who drove up to Gt Yarmouth for the day.


Sort of a story:


Day One: Great Yarmouth: The Great British Bank Holiday


For some reason everyone was surprised that we got stuck in traffic on a Bank Holiday weekend when the queen was celebrating her jubilee, some people even moaned about it. Fuck me, it's all part of being British just like getting sunburnt red on the first day of summer and drinking till your sick in the street on the weekends, learn to embrace it, in the end you'll grow to love it. So it goes without saying we got to the demo well late and the kids were waitng for the performing monkeys. The park had just opened that day, my views on it are mixed, nice building, well built course but strange transitions and a lack of lines. I think the long journey had primed everyone up to skate because they went like shit off a shovel when they got in the park. Wainwright amazed me, I've seen him skate a few times, but I guess I'd just forgotten how damn good he is, alley oop ollies into a well set back wall ride, f/s flip out the driveway over the block onto the flat, huge f/s nollie kickflip on a quarter. Dark went into his ridiculous demo mode and made everything he tried, i was most impressed by his nosegrinds on the bar. Emilio made a nice channel ollie first go and b\s 180 indy over the jump box. Cates started his week long fire breathing show and managed to set a ramp on fire. Chesson pulled the best trick while no one was really watching 50-50 up along and down the driveway block. While everyone was outside signing stuff I managed to sneak in a very enjoyable skate and made a mental note to get back there some time. Our night was spent in Norwich with a curry and then a visit to a sketchy nightclub who most people opted out of. Those who stayed witnessed a good few fights, a hideous dancing pregnant woman, G performing some retarded dancing, Carnie realising he knew the barmaid, having a nightmare trying to get back to the hotel.


Day Two: Northampton: Far Too Much Skateboarding


All those Kevs wanted to stay in the hotel and watch football, I opted to doss in the car park with Chesson, Church Hell and whoever else was passing. I saw in Sidewalk that some kid wrote a letter complaining that the team were late to Radlandsso he missed them, well I'm sorry mate, but now you know the truth it's because they were watching fucking football, and I was as pissed of about it as you.