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Armbreaker: Particularly energetic wank. Arse Spider: Tenacious well knotted winnit that cannot be removed without bringing 8 spindly hairs with it. Audition the finger puppets: A single-act, one man show not suitable for children. Autograph the gusset. To allow the turtles head to sign the inside of your underpants. Bacon strips: External female genitalia. Beef box: A container into which sausages are put. Benny Hill: Rhyming slang, female contraceptive. Brown Daisy: Unpleasantly scented flower which attracts flies rather than bees. Budgies tongue: Descriptive, the female erective bit!! Bum Goblin: A gnarled malevolent turd that jumps out behind you casting a painful spell on your ringpiece! B.V.H: Abbr, "Blue veined hooligan" A six inch tall, one eyed skinhead. Chugnuts: Extremely large piles. Cider Visor: Beer goggles for the younger drinker. Cliterature: One handed reading material. Cockoholic: One who is addicted to cockahol. Conkers deep: To be in a state of deep penetration. Cough your filthy yoghurt: Romantic expression for ejaculation. Crunchie: A sock worn the morning after being used as a wank-mop. Disco fanny: The full strength flavour achieved after 6 hours on a dance floor in PVC trousers. Ditch Pig: Affectionate term for an ugly fat girl. Frog: A formidable blast from the spunk trumpet where the ladies cheeks puff out like a bullfrogs. Double bassing: To have sex from behind while fiddling with the ladies left nipple with one hand and her budgies tongue with the other, a position similar to the one adopted for playing the double bass, though the sound is slightly different. Drown some kittens: To drown a litter of small stools. Eating sushi off a barber shop floor: Cunnulingus. Face fannies: Sideburns. Feeding the pony: One handed feeding of a ladys toothless gibbon. Five pinter: A very ugly woman you would only chat-up after five pints. Fizzy gravy: Rusty water, diahorrea. Free the tadpoles: To liberate the residents of ones wank tanks. Fuckshitfuckshitsuckshit: The sound made when driving through to narrow a gap at too high a speed. Funbagtastic: Exclm, may be uttered when seeing a large pair of breasts. Grannys oysters: Elderly female genitalia. Greyhound: Very short skirt, only an inch from the hare. Hairy Scallops: Furry shellfish to be eaten when bearded clams are out of season. Hand-to-gland combat: Vigorous three minute bout of gladiatorial combat involving a spam javelin. Heftty-clefty: Welly top, horses collar. Descriptive of a large vagina. Lord of the pies: Salad dodger, barge arse, Danny Baker. Mexican lipstick: Embarrassing facial tide mark found after eating out lady who was up on the blocks. Ming the merciless: Death by chocolate starfish. Monkey bath: A bath so hot when lowering yourself in you go *Oo! Oo! Oo! Aa! Aa! Aa!*. Opera house: A large vagina, with heavy pink safety curtains. Pie-Liner: A Femidom. PIK: Acronym, Pig In Knickers. Pumpers Lump: The condition of enhanced right arm muscle due to excessive wanking. Quim Chin, Muff mouth: A bearded fellow. Release the chocolate hostage: To liberate Richard the third. Roy Castle*s last blow: A pathetic whimpering fart. Starfish Trooper: An Arsestronaut*.. Tit Pants: A Bra. Tongue Punchbag, Small man in a boat: See Budgie*s Tongue. Two Bagger: Someone so ugly that two bags are required, one to cover their head and one to cover yours incase theirs falls off. Up on the blocks: Monthly MOT failure due to recurring leak under the Beatle Bonnet. Wet as an otters pocket: Descriptive as to the moistness of a ladies kipper mitten. X-Piles: Unwanted visitors from Uranus.
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