Q: Which sexual position produces the ugliest children?

A: Ask your mother...!!

Q: How does every ethnic joke start?

A: By looking over your shoulder.

Q: How do you embarrass an archaeologist?

A: Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from.

Q: What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?

A: Wiped his ass.

Q: How can you tell if your wife is dead?

A: The sex is the same but the dishes pile up.

Q: What do the Gynaecologist and the pizza delivery man have in common?

A: They both get to smell the goods but neither one of them can eat it.

Q: How can you tell if you're at a bulimic bachelor party?

A: The cake jumps out of the girl.

Q: What do you call a prostitute with a runny nose?

A: Full.

Q: What's the difference between oral sex & anal sex?

A: Oral sex makes your day, anal sex makes your hole weak.

Q: How is pubic hair like parsley?

A: You push it to the side before you start eating.

Q: How are tornadoes and marriage alike?

A: They both begin with a lot of sucking and blowing, and in the end you lose your house.

Q: Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic team?

A: Because everybody who can run, jump and swim are already in the U.S.

Q: What's the difference between a bitch and a whore?

A: A whore sleeps with everybody at the party, and a bitch sleeps with everybody at the party except you.

Q: What's the difference between love, true love and showing off?

A: Spitting, swallowing and gargling

Q: What are three words you dread the most while making love?

A: "Honey, I'm home."

Q: What's so good about an Ethiopian blow job?

A: You just KNOW she'll swallow.

Q: What's the difference between getting a divorce and getting circumcised?

A: When you get a divorce, you get rid of the whole prick!

Q: A woman of 35 thinks of having children. What does a man of 35 think of?

A: Dating children.

Q: What's the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball?

A: A guy will actually search for a golf ball.

Q: What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball?

A: Cough, gag, choke, etc.

Q: What did One gay sperm say to another?

A: How do we find an egg in all of this sh*t?

Q. What has seventy-five balls and screws old ladies?

A. Bingo!

Q: Which of the following doesn't belong: wife, meat, eggs, blow job?

A: The blow job. You can beat your wife, your eggs, or your meat; but you just can't beat a blow job.

Q: What is the definition of Confidence?

A: When your wife catches you in bed with another woman and you slap her on the ass and say, "You're next Baby... !"

Q: Why do seagulls have wings?

A: To beat the gypsies to the tip.

Q: Why did god invent alcohol?

A: So fat women can get laid too.

Q: What have women and condoms got in common?

A: If they're not on your dick they're in your wallet.

Q: Why was the washing machine laughing?

A: Because it was taking the p*ss out of the undies.

Q. What do you call a man who expects to have sex on the second date?

A: Patient..!!