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ALCOHOL WARNING
Due to increasing products liability, manufacturers have accepted the Medical Association's suggestion that the following warning labelsbe placed immediately on all containers.
Warning: Consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not. Warning: Consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a wanker. Warning: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story over and over again until your friends want to smash your face in. Warning: Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at 4 in the morning. Warning: Consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your trousers/skirt. Warning: Consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting. Warning: Consumption of alcohol may make you think you possess mystical Kung-Fu powers. Warning: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary (whose species, and/or name you can't remember) Warning: Consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead. Warning: Consumption of alcohol may lead to traffic signs and cones appearing in your home. Warning: Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible. Warning: Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that people are laughing with you. Warning: Consumption of alcohol may cause an influx in the time-space continuum, whereby small (and sometimes large) gaps of time may seem to literally disappear.
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